What My Dreams Were Made Of
I started writing this blog and expressing my thoughts and feelings on certain topics when I was preparing to go to South Africa. It started as an online portfolio for my work so that people across seas could see what I do creatively, beyond the Resume_TyealHowell.pdf.
I shared moments of adventure with some of my closest friends, I’ve shared reflections of all my college experiences coming to end, I shared what I experienced in South Africa and how I felt when I landed. I’ve shared a few things.
I want to share more. I’m realizing that as I continue to grow and experience life, expressing myself and my feelings through writing is therapeutic for me.
And I need some therapy right now.
2018 has literally just begun and SO many monumental things have happened to me.
I landed my very first full-time salary job. The building I work in is in one of the trendiest parts of Los Angeles–West Hollywood. Our office is on the 9th floor. I have a special key card (recently misplaced) to get onto the elevator and up to our offices. Once I’m up there, the outside walls are literally floor to ceiling windows overlooking Hollywood Hills. If I wear heels, they make that sophisticated click clack noise as I walk down the hallway. Don’t even get me started on the community snack closet. Lit.
It’s a dream. It’s a dream I’ve had for years to be honest.
My daydreams in high school were of me walking down busy city streets with a purpose, heading to a meeting or leaving the office. Being a professional woman, in a professional job, with a professional to do list.
I’m still a little shook about it and I’ve been here about 5 months now. I actually got a promotion about a month ago on top of all that.
Like these fire pics my photographer friend Serrandon took of me. :)
Lots of feelings about all that (good + bad) but just wait. There’s more.
When I first moved to LA I had $500 to my name. All my graduation card cash to be specific. I came for an unpaid summer internship. Where is the security in that? There isn’t any.
I had no family, no network, no friends. No clue what the heck I was doing.
Summer internship ended, I found a part time job with a YouTuber.
Since then I’ve learn about the career of social media influencers. The power of social media influencers. The danger of social media influencers. The facade of social media influencers.
Los Angeles is a crazy city in itself, because so many people have moved here to be “successful” and there are many different definitions of success. Specifically in the entertainment industry, people came here to be someone else. To act. The city is full of actors.
I digress, after I found this part time gig I felt a little more secure. Co-workers turned into friends and my waist was getting slimmer, I had a little bit more money to spend and things were really looking up a bit.
Part-time became 5 days a week and some Saturdays and then things were real good. I spent a year and a half there and there were talks of downsizing the team and I just felt like it was time for me to move on.
Back to the resume drawing board. How could I convince an employer that my time spent posting instastories and organizing a get ready with me video shoot for YouTube could add value to their business?
I learned that in LA, that’s easy. Social media is poppin right now.
So I landed this new gig. Came in with ambition and tons of optimism and got promoted shortly after.
Even shorter after, I signed a lease for the first time on a 2 bedroom apartment with an aspiring actress from Boston. My own room. My own kitchen. My own bathroom. My closet right now is the biggest closet I’ve ever had in my life.
Before moving here, I lived in an airbnb in the heart of Koreatown for 5 months. (not the trendiest part of the city– if you were wondering) Then I met a Lyft driver who happened to be renting out a room in his Grandma’s old house. I slept on the couch in his living room for a good 4 months, then a friend let me have her futon. Then he put a curtain up to give me a bit of privacy. Eventually, I got an actual room with a door. Big steps. Uncomfortable situations. I stuck it out for about a year and a half. The guy who owned the house has turned into a big brother figure for me. My LA big brother.
I broke down to him about missing my family, feeling overwhelmed, having too many goals and not enough money. He turned the basement into a studio for me to record Ryan and I's podcast. He really has been a life saver.
LOOK AT ME NOOOWW.
I’m looking at myself and part of me can’t even believe it. I spent so much time praying in agreement for things God was working on behind the scenes, having faith that the next opportunity was on the way and being so genuinely grateful for everything I had in the moment. I was grateful for the airbnb bunk bed because it was shelter that many didn’t have. I was grateful for the part-time instastory-ing job because it allowed me to eat.
I still don’t really have any idea what I’m doing. But God does. He knows what I’m doing now, what I’ll be doing a year from now and most importantly, why I’m doing all of this.
This wasn’t to boast about the recent accomplishments I’ve have. This was to share the behind the scenes. The real. It hasn’t been easy and I haven’t been twirling in pink streamers for the past two years. I’ve been praying and crying and working and working some more. A friend of mine said we’re supposed to put in these long hours in our 20s so that our 30s are smooth.
I’m down for that. It kinda sucks sometimes, but I figure it’ll be worth it in the long run.
Have patience and have faith that what you want will come to fruition. Because it will. The words you speak out loud are powerful, so speak life to the areas in your life that are draining you.
Watch happens next.